Do you remember how I proposed to you? Oct 8, 1943 (Alex)

In this letter, written throughout the course of a day at training camp, Alex can’t sleep and tells Sylvia about how he went over, in minute detail, the two years he’s known her. He reminisces about their trips to the country, about their marriage and even sketches her wedding dress.

For fifteen years I’ve been struggling with how I fit into Alex and Sylvia’s story. My place in it, my role in sharing it, how protective and proprietary I felt about them. And I haven’t figured out the answer, my role, or my story. But I know that becoming a mother has given me more of a feeling of being part of a line of ancestors. I know that sharing Sylvia’s heart condition gave weight to my decisions regarding motherhood and it’s importance to me. But I’ve carefully kept personal details out of this blog for a long time. I think I didn’t feel worthy in my mid-twenties, writing about my life in Brooklyn that wasn’t plagued with war and separation. But now I have such scant evidence of that time in my life. I have private reflections but there is something about knowing that what you write is being read by another person that changes how you evaluate your story. I feel that when I read my grandparents’ correspondence. I wish I had valued my own story enough to write more of it down or even live it more out loud, less in my head. I thought I was being professional, not oversharing, in my approach to the letters, even as I grappled with the bits of written evidence that Sylvia left behind.

Alex was a more known entity to me but Sylvia, only 25 when writing, was a mystery. And while she still is, I’m so grateful that she wrote so much down about her life, even if it was for her husband. It seems like it was a way of respecting herself as well. Another lesson to be gleaned from her and from the letters. Alex, too, valued details, story, memory, and intimate communication. It allows me to know him long before he became the grandpa I knew.

Below is a lovely and loving letter. The envelope has what look like Sylvia’s doodles on them but maybe they both had that style of sketching their little family? This letter is written right before the start of Yom Kippur and the previous letter that I shared.

Thursday, Oct 8, 1943

Dearest honey,

This will be a short letter and frequently interrupted. I have the 4 to 8PM watch that means that practically all the time that is my own for personal needs is taken away. Speaking of watches, the best are the ones at 8 to 12 or 12 to 4 in the morning, then you avoid marching. 

The weather is beautiful, the trees are turning gray brown red in fact all colors they are beautiful . The sun shines and I feel lazy and contented. We just ate, and even the meal was above criticism. 

In the morning — down for life boat drill. We were there for three hours, on the lake oaring. It was very pleasant the water had small waves and rocked the boats. 

The taught us how to stay on our position to lower the boats and all other maneuvers necessary. This afternoon we are going to the “Rigging loft” where they will teach us how to tie knots etc. Later on we are going to get another shot for yellow fever. After this there will be another one, the last one against tetanus and then we will be through. 

Tomorrow night it is the beginning of Yom Kippur and we will be at church. I hope I’ll get enough time to call you. If in case my call won’t go through, I’ll try Sunday afternoon I don’t know the time yet but be at hand after one. 

Darling, last night somehow I could’t fall asleep for quite a while and somehow I reviewed these two years since I know you. The little room on Washington Square, and when I came that night after shaking off that other admirer of yours. The trips to the country, Serena’s apartment, and your worries after that, thinking I coulldn’t love you.

Do you remember how I proposed to you? I can’t I must have been eased into it, I can’t remember the exact way. And Borough Hall for our license, and the marriage itself. How dramatic you looked in the dress Lida Moser sewed for you. You never wore it ever since then. I am sure the seams would bust if you tried it now. I would like to see you in it again, you looked so lovely! 

When Cookie will be a little bigger you will be able to make a nice dress out of it for her. I was just thinking I should write you that perhaps if you teamed it with black velvet at the waist, and maybe a 

Also to a hem you might be able to use it. Like this [DRAWING]

Well, you perhaps won’t believe it by I thought of all this and the details too. 

8:45PM

Darling I was busy till now. They taught us how to make knots I shall tell you about in another letter. I stood my watch till 8PM. I washed my clothes and here I am racing against time. In a short while lights out. IDear, the above design was all thought about last night. Of course now I realize, thinking it over that the dress is made in one piece. Well, anyway, you may see how much in  detail I think of you. If you are puzzled I”ll explain my nights day-dream when I’ll see you. We received the yellow fever shot and as you see it doesn’t bother me at all. 

Sweet, I received your letter the one that is an answer for the one of mine that was address to NYC. Well at least it didn’t have the effect that it would have had if received at proper time. Yes it is nice to think of the future with nice rosy colored glasses to look through, only lets not run away with ourselves, because we may be disillusioned. Darling, there is no reason to be pessimistic and perhaps we might have the things we want, only let us always remember, that no matter how the future may be, as long as I can be with  you anything will be like heaven! Now glancing over the letter I see that you say that too, I guess that is the most important thing in the world. Now I am very happy too to serve, because this gives us a chance to appreciate each other coming together which otherwise we might have jut taken for granted. 

I won’t give you a chance to be weepy when we will see each other, we are going to laugh and be joyous as larks. There is no reason to be weepy, we know that what we are doing is important and in fact the most important thing in the world. 

Your letter is here in front of me, it has such beautiful smile, it actually excites me and in spite of the saltpeter.

If there were not so many people around I’d lift it and kiss it and inhale the beautiful smell. What I am going to do, I’ll take it in bed with me and will think of you while falling asleep and kiss it a million times. 

Darling goodnight my love to you and baby. I love you and forever faithful to you darling, 

Alex