What I’ve Learned about “BK In Love & War” from 2 Months on TikTok

When I joined TikTok just under 2 months ago, I thought I was just trying to get some proof for my book proposal that my idea had legs. I was wrong. The platform became a unexpected workshop where I didn’t just share my grandparents’ story – I started to find my own place within it.

Lesson 1: My Voice Matters
My biggest fear was putting my face on camera. But the platform’s off-the-cuff, anonymous feel became an unexpected laboratory: A low-stakes space to think out loud. I started talking to the void, using it as a practice ground to work through my own connection to my grandma Sylvia’s words. In the act of speaking them, even just to myself, a revelation crystallized: my point of view wasn’t an intrusion on their story; it was the necessary bridge connecting these historical artifacts to my modern life. The process itself, the simple act of showing up and building that muscle, gave me more confidence to be seen.

Lesson 2: The Power of a Single Detail
TikTok’s short format wasn’t so conducive to reading entire letters out loud. The platform forced me to find the most potent lines. I rediscovered Sylvia’s description of a quiet Brooklyn evening: “The radiators are whistling merrily, as steam drives the cold gloom from the room.” Reading it out loud, I was struck by her masterful writing. That one, specific NYC sensory detail — the sound of steam heat — does more to build a world than a page of description ever could. It taught me to trust the small stuff. Not every analysis needs to be groundbreaking. The beauty, tragedy, and lessons of the letters lie in the small, everyday declarations that they made.

Lesson 3: Embracing Imperfection
The informality of TikTok was liberating. A walking-and-talking video about finding time to write as a mom felt more authentic than a once-per-year polished essay. It reminded me that some of the best stories feel like conversations. I began to feel like I was having a conversation across time, and that the lessons from 80 years ago were accompanying me through my daily life.

Building on this…

I’m still learning about this platform, it’s pitfalls and limitations, as well as its opportunities but it’s truly been a lesson in loving the journey, not just focusing on the destination. Still, I believe these stories deserve a permanent home away from the nonstop scrolling. With the digital landscape always shifting, I want this oft-neglected blog to remain the stable home base for this project.

So, what can you expect here? I’m taking the best of what worked on TikTok and expanding it. You’ll see:

• From The Archives: Bite-sized excerpts from the letters, like the one about the whistling radiator.
• My Reflection: Deeper dives into what a specific letter means to me as a mother, writer, and granddaughter.
• The Writer’s Notebook: Tips and insights on the process of turning family history into a compelling narrative.

This is just the beginning, and I want you to be a part of it.

1. Join the Conversation: What’s a family story or a small, sensory detail that feels vivid and real to you? What do you find most compelling about a story like this? Tell me in the comments below.
2. Get the Stories Directly: Don’t want to miss a post? Subscribe to this blog and you’ll get updates straight to your inbox when I share something new. It’s the best way to follow along as the book evolves.

Thank you, as always, for sticking with me through this project.