What do you think, you’re in the Bronx?

This letter from Alex goes through a lot of his personal relationships with other sailors, details about discipline, washing, synagogue, and life during training. It’s a lot to unpack but he is loving and sweet through it all. While writing this letter he is still in training and not yet aboard a ship.

My favorite part was how he spoke to Sylvia about her wifely “duties.” He talks about how much laundry they do throughout the week, and writes that

“Some fellows say, I wish I had my wife with me,” to myself I answer, that wouldn’t do any good to me, except the spiritual comfort, I didn’t brake [sic] you in the right way, I guess. Well, I never wanted to anyway, because I consider you my friend and lover and not someone who has to work for my comfort. In fact, I want to wash yours when I come back and show what an expert I am.”

I love hearing him say she is his friend and not his maid. He says he wants to show her what an expert he’s become at doing laundry. Knowing my grandfather as a large, imposing, figure who often in his old age made quips about “his woman” and embraced what we considered some “Old World Machismo,” it makes me smile to know that he was not so regressive in his attitudes towards women. Or at least, Sylvia wouldn’t let him be. The grandmother I knew, Sophie, who was his second wife was also no housekeeper but a highly educated career-oriented woman. Alex’s commentary on Sylvia’s lack of laundry work is playful and cute, neither reprimanding nor resentful. He is exceedingly affectionate throughout this 12-page letter – saying it gives him great pleasure to call her sweet names and she should not read anything else into it.

Later in the letter, Alex also says he wants to change diapers and wash the baby’s clothes so that he feels useful to them again. IT’s touching to hear him miss the quotidian tasks of parenting and see the value of doing these things. This morning my dad (Alex’s son, born after the war was over) said to me that seeing his grandson (my son) every morning has been making him feel like he will live longer. As I mulled this over, it occurred to me that I had considered what our living together meant for me and for my son but hadn’t thought about my toddler’s impact on my parents. I think we are used to ascribing very little agency to children so we erase all that they contribute to the family. But watching him share what he’s learning, how he’s growing, his innate kindness, and his ability to ignite each our own inner children, is no small contribution. Parenting is a symbiotic relationship.

At one point Alex says he was “goldbricking” which I had to look up and think should be reincorporated into contemporary lingo. It meant finding a way to avoid/shirk a task while appearing to work. I think we’re all familiar with that! This moment in particular reminded me that I didn’t know him as a young man, only as a loving and playful – but still old – grandfather.

He says he’s keeping his nose clean and staying out of trouble but says to Sylvia that if he does get sent away for a crime, “Well anyway there are plenty of 4F’s yet in New York, eh?!” 4F being unfit for military duty, Alex is making a quip about the lousy selection of men Sylvia would have access to back in Brooklyn.

This letter contains some hi-jinks and personal vendettas that also infrequently make it to the pages of Alex’s letters. There are two men he doesn’t like: A “wise guy” and a guy with “Nazi tendencies” (no small claim during World War II) and he seems to be in good company with his beliefs.

Finances and finding a way to be alone with Sylvia takes up a good amount of this letter as well. It’s interesting to see exactly how difficult it was for them to figure out how to find the time, space or money to spend time as a couple. Alex talks about taking Sylvia’s virginity (am I mis-reading this??) but maybe it’s just a joke about how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other since, well, they already have a baby together in October 1943. Alex comes up with a few suggestions for where they could go and asks Sylvia to look into it. These are the moments where I feel particularly awkward reading my grandparents’ correspondence, but how strange would it be if there were no mention of physical intimacy in the hundreds of letters they wrote over the course of years?

Knowing Alex was a staunch atheist, though Jewish by birth, it was also interesting to read about the Rosh Hashanah services that they attended. Alex enjoys the choir, of course, and the operatic voice of the Chaplain but when it comes to the sermon he transcribes a slew of reprimands about how infrequently men attend services and culminating with the ultimate insult to their manners, “What do you think, you’re in the Bronx?” That made me chuckle out loud. It reminds me of Old Western movies where there’s always the guy from “The Bronx” a place that carried with it very particular characteristics.

This letter was long and my transcription of it surely contains many typos that I’ll continue to edit but in the meantime, enjoy this deep dive into the daily life of a sailor-in-training.

October 31, 1943

My dearest sweetheart,

I wrote you this afternoon and I thought that I won’t have time to write today anymore, but I’ve got down to ship service (canteen) and went into the library and scouted to read, but I couldn’t concentrate, because I thought that an extra letter will give you added pleasure so here I am.

Of course I won’t tell you for now how much I love you for you know that, but I’ll try to give you an idea about our barracks.

         I have a lot of friends and am well accepted. I dislike two fellows but they don’t count. One of them is a wise guy, and probably must have bullied the children when he was home. He never bothered me as yet, but once we were gold bricking at the razor (?) shop and I ran out of cigarettes and asked him one. Well, he begrudgingly gave me one, with the remark, why don’t you guys buy your own sometimes. Well, I didn’t like that, so today I was very happy because the Apprentice Petty Officer gave all of us an order and as a wise guy he didn’t obey it. So they had a big

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bawling out and he got two extra watches. The other fellow is definitely with Nazi tendencies he never bothered me so far. The rest of the boys I like and we get along swell, I kid them and vice versa.

         There is also our company clerk, I particularly don’t dislike him but he always tries to put one over on the boys, and tries to get out of “musts” such as calisthenics, marching, etc. Today rained like hell, and after cleaning the barracks we were sent into the room where we dry our wash when it is wet outside. This fellow’s mattress cover and in fact his whole laundry was hanging on the line, so two of the boys grabbed it and throwed it on the floor and with the shoes full of mud trampled all over it, till they were black with dirt. In the afternoon when the P.O. found it out, told us that we would all be restricted to the barracks unless we disclosed who did it. You should have heard the comments. Everybody raving mad because of the restriction although in their hearts all were glad that it did happen to the clerk.

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Finally, the boys in order to save all of us from punishment they gave themselves up (nobly) and they got for punishment sixteen hour of watch duty. I passed around the candy and so the two boys got extra rations because they were regular. (Of course, your candy has been very appreciated and duly consummated by all 112 men in the barracks and I’ve got the first victory on the chess set.)

To give you an idea about our work, we have to change bed sheets (mattress covers) twice a week, on Wednesday and Saturday our own clothing once every day. So there is always plenty to wash, (Some fellows say, I wish I had my wife with me, to myself I answer, that wouldn’t do any good to me, except the spiritual comfort, I didn’t brake [sic] you in the right way, I guess. Well, I never wanted to anyway, because I consider you my friend and lover and not someone who has to work for my comfort. In fact, I want to wash yours when I come back and show what an expert I am.

         We have to dress in the morning in dungarees and at four, we have to put on our ‘undress blues”  for chow, then if we want to wash, of course, we have to change again.

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Punishments:

1. Restriction to the barracks for minor infractions
2. Dog watches
3. Restriction to the barracks with smoking privileges taken away.
4. Carry full pack around drill field once or seasonal times.
5. To captain mast.

Number four is tough you have to carry your whole equipment, hammock and matches included around the parade field. It weighs around 80 to 90 lbs. To judge the job take a booklet and you’ll see what a huge drill field we have.

Number four of course is already serious, and captain’s mast means regular court procedure and that may go from a few days in brig up to so on to be sent to a higher court, which may even sentence one to death or penitentiary. As you see you have to commit a serious crime for that. So far I have not been punished or reprimanded and I am enough disciplined to know that I’ve got to tread the line while

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in the Navy. So there is nothing to worry about. The first thing they tell you here, obey your orders, and keep your nose clean, which I always will manage to do. So you have nothing to worry about, for your previous old man. Well anyway there are plenty of 4F’s yet in New York, eh?!

Today we had personal inspection and we all laughed like hell. I said before it was raining and so we had our inspection in the barracks. We all had to line up in the central aisle and stand at attention when Lieutenant came. Well bastard of a fellow just when the order came about to attention, let a fart out (in the morning we had beans) and the whole barrack began to laugh and more we tried to repress it more funny it became. It was terrific. Well by the time the inspector got to where we were standing a whiff of the smell must have struck his nostrils, because he ?? it and at the same time the odor reached me. I thought of good Soldier Schweik and I had a hellof a time to suppress the laugh. I thought it would be funny but I am sure it won’t strike you as it did me.

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We eat beans at least once a day, and fortunately I like them, they served it for breakfast or at any meal each day.

We have three times a week corrective calisthenics in the afternoon, and by that time their trough [they’re through] with we hardly can stand. But of course it’s good for us. Now I can march all day and I don’t even feel it. Also after the calisthenics my muscles don’t ache as they used to at the beginning.

You would like to know probably what happens after this and here it is.

After we are through with booth training we are going on our ??? When we come back we go to the so called O.G.U. which means, Out Going Unit. There we may stay for a week or for months, there we assigned to a land station or to a Navy receiving ship or to a school then after the particular training you are assigned to a ship. This is only the beginning of our training, as they say it here they don’t take passengers aboard a naval Vessel everybody has to know something and man

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his station. If you are sent to ship you have to stay aboard at least four to six months till they send you out to sea. So right now I have only one wish and desire, that my ship should be stationed in Brooklyn, boy what happiness that would be, darling, then we would have our grand and glorious time together whenever I would get time off. The way my luck has gone so far, sweetheart, it may happen. I spent almost a year on borrowed time with you, I hope this will continue at least till my training lasts.

Now when I spoke to you on the phone, you said we will go to a hotel when I came back. I would like that, but how can we do it? We don’t have the money dear. You know hotel rooms cost at least $3.00 or $4.00 for doubles even without bath that means if we want to spend a week ti will sum in to big sums which we don’t have. And I agree with you that it is not the most pleasant thing to be the way we are now, with mom nextdoor. I don’t believe that we should change our “bonds” because after this is over we will need them pretty badly. We will want to get furniture and other things and who knows what employments will I get then. Now, sweetest,

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I don’t intend to just a cold shower on our plans, I am sure that I feel and look forward to my leave with the same wishes and desires as you do, but I have gotta be practical. You see baby, in our family I am always the practical guy. Honestly, I wonder if we could do something else? Of course the night when I take you virginity away I want to be away from everybody, so at least that I may be able to look at you and kiss you and make love to you as if it were our first night of love. Perhaps I shall write you and we shouldn’t even see anyone from our families and just rejoice at each other. I do a great deal of thinking and so far I couldn’t reach any practical suggestions. I thought of going away for a week, but I would like to be with the baby too and secondly matters of finance. I thought of going to ??? but of course, the first consideration and the fact that it wouldn’t be the most pleasant for you either comes to my mind. To go to Serena’s we can’t, because also it is too far and also you could be conscious. To my mother, there is no room. To ask your mother our of her home is not to my taste and can’t be neither to yours. Unless she would offer that, but how about

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your brother who will have his leave, even if your mom would agree? So you see, it is a hell of a situation. Another thing I like to do, is to be home, and diaper the baby and wash her clothes and things like that, so that I can get back that feeling that I am doing something for you and her. So dearest, what can we do? As my mate, dear, how about getting some information and find out perhaps we can get a flat rate for a week? Call up the “Hotel Clinton” do you remember that suite? I wonder perhaps we may get a break. Another thing that distresses me is that I like to have a pleasant room and not a hole in the wall, I don’t want to be depressed, I want you too to be gay, and healthy helps more than pleasant surroundings.

A bright idea just occurred to me. Do you remember where Eugene and Pauline used to live in those brown stone buildings off eight ave or 9^th ? from 21^st up to 30 they have rooms pleasant ones renting by the week, perhaps you should inquire when you have a chance, they might be more reasonable and we can find pleasant ones, but don’t run around now, So perhaps you may make one or two phone calls and find out the prices.

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Dear, here is how I will stand on finances at the end of the training. I’ll be due $100 from the Navy. The following will be the deductions

• $44.00 your allowance for you
• 10.00 my mom’s
• 15.00 my insurance
• 5.00 which I received here and which I had to give back 2.60
• 5.00 which I’ll get within a week and will need it here.
• 7.50 for R.R. fare.

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• $86.50 So the most I’ll have is 13.50 when I come home. Can’t go far on that , eh?

Well, I just found out that I’ll owe money to the govt, because they count the days we spent here as if we go home in Nov. 2. We were here exactly 50 days, so they’ll pay us accordingly. So if I send an S.O.S. and ask you for money for car fare don’t be surprised, darling, but rush to the telegraph office and send it to me, so that they may not leave me here!!! Well lets not worry about that now. There is yet time for that. I wonder what you must think, because I write so many times in the letter, honey darling sweet etc. you might think that I am playing up to you. I hope you don’t , it gives me a tremendous pleasure to

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call you sweet names. Perhaps someday you will receive a letter with a thousand darlings written down without any other text. Don’t be surprised if it happens.

Well, did [I] write about everything?

It just occurred to me, about the services. The Sullivan auditorium was made up for synagogue the altar was on the stage, and they had a swell choir of sailors. The cantor sounded like an opera singer a marvelous voice, I really enjoyed him. The chaplain is sort of a military man. He gave us a sermon. It sounded like Schwak(?) “You men like to goldback instead of coming to services… you may not have forayed for years… the spiritual life is important…. Why should church be a must when your souls should demand it… If you have any kind of trouble come to me and I’ll try to help you… You men, where do you think you are, when you’re in the sinagouge[sic] stay in your place…. Where did you get the idea of leaving your places before the officers have left? What do you think, you’re in the Bronx? You are in the Navy behave as your would in your

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barracks (he should know how) when the officers are there…. Well, I realize that some of you are new and still have not learned yet… Remember you are in the Navy no matter where you are.” Of course, this happened on a Friday night Rosh Hashanah he spoke of David’s 145 Psalm which was read to us, because the chief of the Navy Chaplains is wishing us “happy soul searching” holidays from Washington in a Corny letter to Chaplain. Ben Kovitz, wanted him to read and comment upon it. And in the words of our chaplain “what’s good for King David, the Chief of Chaplains in Washington should be good enough for the ‘boats’ at Sampson, who are we anyway?” So we all sat patiently, some of us sleeping and blessing Kind David and 145 Psalm, Washington included.”

Well dearest, of the most dearest wifes that’s all tonight. Tomorrow I shall not write unless I get some spare time. I’ve got to wash my boots and my bedding and clothing also have to go to services because that is a must.

My love and my warmest kisses to you and baby. Dear, pleasant dreams, always knowing that I love you. Alex