The quickest way to drive a person crazy…

Today’s letter is a long one, packed with details about daily life as well as a rare mention of the news from the warfront. This one is from Sylvia, written about a week before our previous letter from Alex.

Monday – 1/21/45

Dearest husband –

Whew! Am I exhausted! Our little angel is finally packed up in bed and I’m able to sit down and relax for a few minutes. I can’t bear to look around the house – it looks as if a cyclone struck it. Our angelic devil was in the house these last few days – A had cold – slight temperature – (and was I scared) but she’s o.k. now and I’m not taking any chances so am holding her in the house for another few days.

2 – She speaks a mile a minute but not always do I understand her. This evening while she was being put to bed she kept repeating her two most favorite words “me” and “mine” – and when I asked her what was hers, she said, “mommy, Bubbie (Grandma), Poppy (Grandpa), Edward, Judie, Daddy, Debbie” etc and went through a whole list of relatives adding “mine” after each name. Quite a possessive child…. Renato gave us a portable shower (which doesn’t fit) as there is none in these apartments, and Adrienne is fascinated by it. She insists on my playing telephone with

3 – her. So you can picture your dignified looking wife talking into a shower pipe to your intrigued daughter.

[Drawing]

She’s also become interested in records. Believe I’ll buy her a few nursery rhymes, as she loves to hear me sing them to her – and she also loves to hear me make up songs to her about you, and her Bubbie a dog, a cat, a horsie, etc. Will have to get her an album or so.

4 – She caught cold at my mother’s house, and then when I spent the night (Thurs) at your father’s home I realized that the cold came because of mom’s drafty apartment – remember – and I was afraid to keep her in your folks house either because it was dreadfully cold there – so I took her to our apartment where it’s nice and warm and not drafty… And baby, let me tell you, the quickest way to drive a person crazy is

5 –  to have them play alone with a cranky baby for a few days!! It’s really all you need to go mad. But our devil is wonderful – cold or fever didn’t phase her appetite. She still ate like a little horse!!!! There’s a new trick she’s learned. She sits quietly in a dry bathtub with all her toys and plays at bathing them with dry soap… Also she pushes her little chair to the record cabinet, climbs from the chair to the cabinet, and then to the top of

6 – our radio where she dances and throws herself into my arms – no fear… wonderful!!

[Drawing]

Someone gave her an old rubber doll- and she loves it. Well, I squeezed the dolls head to amuse Adrienne one day and of course the air was forced out of the doll’s mouth and Adrienne was so fascinated. Then when I turned to look at her – I was horrified! Your daughter was red in the face trying to squeeze her head together too!

4 – Now about you, big shot. Again last night I dreamed of you – and you were unbelievably handsome (that’s because I haven’t seen you for so long – I’m KIDDING) and you were dressed in your tweed suit. We went into a crowded restaurant and we were seated immediately because you were you. I was very proud and happy. There was a lot more to it, it was so real and I couldn’t believe it was a dream when I awoke.

5 – Anyway, I believe that by this time you’ve received my mail, so I’ll ignore this morning’s letter from you (Jan 4) in which you again are at a loss because I didn’t write. Anyway, I’ll ignore it all – especially where you say you feel like letting loose with some French woman. (You can if you want to but you know what I’ll feel like.) The only part I choose to remember is the one where you state that you’re still very much in love with me and you’re very attached to Adrienne and Mommy. (Just remember, sweetheart, how

6 – much I miss you and long for you.) It’s lucky you mentioned that you rec’d a new supply of winter underwear (Saturday’s letter) as I had collected the other underwear in 3-5 lb packages to send you. I must have written you about it the same time you wrote me about it. It was a load off my mind to know that you’re warm, as I’d been worried about your freezing to death. And it’s good to know you received a new pair of shoes free! How come?

The was news is wonderful tonight. The Russians are 165 miles away from Berlin! And advancing steadily.

P.S. Do you need any money or anything at all? What about your identification badge being sent not to you? Any wooden shoes for Cookie? Love, S

***

I may have read this letter before but I can’t remember, so I figure that you might not remember either. Either way, I feel like I am reading it with such different eyes. I can’t believe how much I can relate to Sylvia’s experiences in this letter. I suppose there are some universal truths about motherhood, but that’s not all of it.

Boy do I know that feeling of sitting down for a few minutes before attempting to clean up the “cyclone” or toys left out by my child’s rigorous playing. But I especially know the intensity of that feeling after they have been forced to stay home with you all day, day after day, because they are sick! Just a few weeks ago my son, my husband, and I all got COVID and had to quarantine. Infants, who can’t wear masks, have to stay inside for 10 days. Of course, it happened over the 4^th of July weekend (and his first birthday), when we’d planned to spend a lot of time outside and with loved ones. For ten days we stayed inside our one bedroom apartment, recovering and trying to entertain each other. There were times our son crawled over to the stroller, expecting to go out, and then over to the window where he gazed at the wind in the tree branches while only feeling the stale – though temperature controlled – apartment air on his cheeks. The days were long but mostly unremarkable and the playing was intense.

The scary part was over quickly, thank goodness, but when Sylvia mentions her fear about Adrienne’s temperature I flashed back to the baby’s first night with COVID, when he had a 103 degree fever and couldn’t sleep from all of his coughing. I sat on the couch trying desperately not to panic. When I called the pediatrician to make sure I was doing all the things – and the right things – that I could do for him, I found myself choking back tears as I described his symptoms. The unworried response from the doctor was enough to calm me down but a sick child is awful, partly because you can’t explain to them why they feel bad and that it will pass. They only live in the present – I can’t tell a 1-year old that the data confirms that he should feel better at some point in this abstract thing called “the future.” I adore Sylvia’s descriptions in this letter of Adrienne playing, climbing, talking, eating, and fearing nothing!

The other thing about a child with a contagious illness is that you can’t ask for help because you would put other people at risk. Sylvia speaks to this very clearly. Here in 2022, when people are debating taking even basic precautions like wearing a mask, it’s so comforting to see my grandma choosing the harder but responsible path of staying in isolation with the baby for the sake of keeping those around her safe and healthy. I took great solace during our isolation in the fact that we had managed to recognize our symptoms quickly and keep from spreading COVID to anyone at the baby’s daycare.

Like Adrienne, my son is also talking up a storm (not all of which I can understand), trying to climb everything, and eating like a horse. He loves to pretend to talk on the phone and I find myself holding cups, remote controls, anything solid to my ear and chatting with him. While these details and adventures in parenting might be mundane for you, reader, I have a feeling they were a joy for Alex to read about.

Now, about the news of the Russians approaching Berlin and the possibility of an end to the war. Sometimes, when looking back over time it’s easy to forget that people didn’t have the information we have now. Sylvia didn’t know the war would end that year and she was afraid to get her hopes up. It seems like people today have stopped talking about life “after COVID” because wave after wave of the virus has made it clear there won’t ever be a full end to this kind of war. So, how do you hope? How do you keep your hopes up for normality and remain vigilant? While we know World War II combat came to an end, Sylvia doesn’t and she is concerned about “letting up production and effort on the home front.” I wonder if she ever got to see the French or British newspapers she asked Alex to send.

This letter was quite loving, with only a joke or two at Alex’s expense, but tension simmers when Sylvia notes that she is “choosing to ignore” some of Alex’s earlier letters. So it’s safe to say that there will be more quarreling in letters to come.